How We Found Each Other

From Julie’s perspective

It was the winter of 2014. I had bravely signed up for online dating a few months earlier. It had yet to impress me. As a single mom hoping to find the “right kind” of man this time, I wasn’t sure how else to go about this thing called dating. This particular day I was online looking around one of the dating sites. Then, there it was: that little smiley, winky face thing in my inbox. Who is this person? After reviewing the highlights of his profile, I thought well he doesn’t seem crazy; perhaps I should send him that winky face in return. Little did I know that seemingly small decision would end up changing my life forever.

Behind that winky face was the one and only Brad Allen Luczywo. That began the journey of perilous electronic communication. I remember receiving his first actual email message thinking wow he has a lot to say! To those of you who know Brad well, it will be no surprise that he can be quite verbose in his writing. Honestly, he spoke so intensely about his faith, I was both inspired and concerned. He signed his “dating” emails “In Christ.” I was nervous he would be too “super spiritual” for me. I had a past. I was a single mom. Could he really handle me? I was still in the midst of working out my healing. I decided to nickname him “super spiritual guy.” My skepticism along with the business of us both being single parents slowed our electronic friendship building.

For about 5 months, we went back and forth every several weeks exchanging lengthy emails. Finally, in July of 2014, Brad called me. Did I answer? No. I was visiting my friend Christi and I didn’t feel like talking to some guy I didn’t even know. He attempted to call again another time but again I couldn’t answer. After that, our friendship nearly slowed to a stop. I didn’t think too much of it. He was, after all, “super spiritual guy.”

In September of that year, I agreed to be set up with a friend of a friend.That set up lasted about 5 months. I realized during that time we weren’t a good fit. Sigh… back to the drawing board for this single momma. I remember talking with my brother Isaac. I said to him.”I just can’t seem to find the right kind of man.” Isaac said to me, “Whatever happened to super spiritual guy?” I replied “Wasn’t he too spiritual?” Yes I know it is an odd conversation playing it back. Isaac simply said, “Maybe he is different in person.” That was enough to plant the seed. On Father Day’s 2015 I took another seemingly small step. I sent a “Happy Father’s Day” text to Brad.

From Brad’s perspective

As soon as I saw her profile picture, I knew I had to find out more, so I clicked right away. I have Christian Mingle to thank for introducing me to the woman who would one day thrill my heart. What I didn’t realize was that it would be over a year later before that process would start.

We met online in March of 2014. As I read her profile, I knew I wanted to get to know her better. She loves the Lord intensely, she is beautiful beyond all reason, she has a boisterous joy for life, she is a loving mother to an adorable daughter, and she knows that life isn’t perfect but that God is always redeeming it. (That’s just the tip of the iceberg.) At the time, I was not a paying member, which restricted me to pre-composed messages called “Smiles.” After a few exchanges of these static emails, I thought she might be willing to talk more to me. She seemed worth it from the little I knew, so I ponied up the cash for a membership and that allowed me to send a real email.

We quickly moved to “real” email addresses and wrote each other back and forth. But, for one reason or another, we were slow to respond. And yet, we wrote a lot and got to know quite a few facts about each other over the next few months. Sadly, even though we were only 30 minutes away from each other, we never met in person or even talked on the phone. We did text a bit and I tried calling once, but she couldn’t answer. I ceased to hear from her, except for becoming friends on Facebook, and so I gave up figuring she wasn’t interested. But, there were no hard feelings. In fact, I was thrilled for her when she started dating someone else.

In my experience dating, I’ve always made it my primary goal to become a genuine friend with a woman as much as possible before considering a dating relationship. What true friendship looks like to me is to want the very best for that other person even if that doesn’t include me in her life. So, I was genuinely happy for her. I want a great marriage for everyone, and I’m so excited to see people commit to each other.

It will come as no surprise that I was shocked to get a text from her on Father’s Day 2015. So far as I knew, she was still taken. Thankfully, she wasn’t anymore.

“I hope you had an amazing Father’s Day, Brad! :)”

“Aww, wow! Thank you, Julie! It was good. And happy Father’s Day to you. You’re doing both jobs for your daughter!”